For teens, parents and adults
Some voices in your head are yours. Many are borrowed from parents, teachers, friends and screens. Learn to recognise each one, and find the voice that is really yours.
From the Whose Voice Is That? books by Ravi Lall
Why it's hard
Family, teachers, friends, social media. Most come from people who care, which makes them hard to question.
Once a voice moves inside your head, it speaks as "I". A guess or a worry starts to feel like a fact.
Before exams, after a bad mark, late at night with a phone. That's when sorting them matters most.
The method
One simple habit, taught in both books. It takes ten seconds and works anywhere: in an exam hall, at the dinner table, or scrolling at midnight.
Notice the voice. You can't sort a thought you haven't spotted.
Hear what it's really saying, and check what kind of thought it is.
Whose voice is that? Name where it came from. Then decide if it gets to stay.
A physics teacher's view
In physics, a weak signal can hide under a lot of noise. Your own voice works the same way. Each borrowed voice you recognise is noise you can filter out, and your own signal gets clearer.
The books
Two books, one idea. One for teenagers, one for the parents who love them.
The big idea
Psychologists who study inner speech find it grows out of real conversations from childhood. The voices of parents, teachers and friends are taken in and become the way we talk to ourselves. That's why a borrowed voice can sound exactly like your own.
Alderson-Day and Fernyhough, Psychological Bulletin, 2015 ↗Struggling right now? Free, confidential help is a call away.
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